


Emotional Vulnerability

by Planteria



Series: Bites of the Silver Sandwich [2]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Bending (Avatar TV), Alternate Universe - Normal High School, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Bisexual Sokka (Avatar), Canonical Character Death, Canonical Child Abuse, Friendship/Love, Gay Zuko (Avatar), Gen, Hakoda (Avatar) is a Cool Dad, Hakoda (Avatar) is a Good Parent, Hakoda is a good but flawed parent, Iroh (Avatar) is a Good Uncle, Iroh is a good but flawed parent, Mental Health Issues, Modern AU, Mutual Pining, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Ozai (Avatar) is an Asshole, POV Zuko (Avatar), Past Sokka/Yue (Avatar), People aren't perfect in this fic and that's okay, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sokka is a Bisexual Disaster, Zuko (Avatar)-centric, Zuko and Sokka are best friends, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, Zuko is oblivious sometimes, he's also bad with names
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:13:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25436719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Planteria/pseuds/Planteria
Summary: Friday night, Mai broke up with Zuko. He will readily admit that she was right to do so, doesn't mean he isn't still upset. So instead of working the next day, he plays games with Sokka and the two learn a lot about each other.
Relationships: Background Sokka/Suki (Avatar) - Relationship, Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Series: Bites of the Silver Sandwich [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1812274
Comments: 50
Kudos: 553





	Emotional Vulnerability

**Author's Note:**

> hey all so, if you didn't read the first part, please do. this will make a lot more sense if you do. also, just like the first part, this goes briefly over some heavy stuff so read at your own discretion.  
> there are links scattered throughout this, none of them are viruses, please click on them  
> sort of unimportant note: I do not play super smash bros so I had to ask my partner about a lot of it and I hope it's all accurate???  
> anyway, I hope you enjoy :)

The air was thick and the sky threatening to rain. Just his luck. Zuko was less than twenty-four hours off of being broken up with and now the world was actually raining on his parade. He’d texted Sokka asking to hang out since Uncle wouldn’t let him work and he didn’t want to be alone. After breaking up with your girlfriend of a year, hanging out with your friend that you’d been pining over for the last month probably wasn’t best for your emotional state. But here he was. 

Sokka pulled into the parking spot in front of him, the doors audibly unlocking. Zuko let himself in wordlessly. Putting his seatbelt on, he noticed Sokka drumming his fingers against the steering wheel and glancing over at him.  _ Let’s get this fucking over with, _ he thought with a vague idea of how it was going to go. 

“Whatever you want to say, just say it,” Zuko grumbled, making eye contact with Sokka. 

“Well, I just—I…” Sokka sighed, fidgeting with one of his sweatshirt strings. “Sorry you got broken up with?” It came out as more of a question than a statement. 

“It’s fine.” He shrugged, looking forwards towards the front of the apartment building. “Honestly, I was planning on breaking up with her after graduation but…”  _ It still hurts and I don’t know why. _ It was something he wasn’t ready to admit, so in lieu he shrugged again. 

“I get that you’re gay, but I dunno, it still sucks,” Sokka said, drumming his fingers again before seeming to decide it was time to leave. Putting the car in reverse, he continued, “Like I’ve never been broken up with… yet. But my buddy Tarran got broken up with last week and he was a bit of a mess.” Zuko gave him a hum and looked out the window. He honestly felt like an angsty middle schooler. Maybe this is why Uncle made him take the day off? For a while, he’d considered Mai one of his best friends. Once he’d started hanging out with Aang, Katara, and Sokka more, that started to change. Probably Mai had also noticed and that’s why she’d FaceTimed him last night. 

Sighing, Zuko rubbed a hand over his right eye. “Sorry I was sort of snippy with you.” He turned his head towards Sokka as he said it. Panic seemed to sweep over the other teen’s face. Reaching out, Sokka grabbed Zuko’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze. 

“Dude, it’s fine! Don’t apologize because you’re going through some shit,” Sokka said, glancing over at him briefly before returning his eyes to the road. Zuko gave him a small smile. As annoying as Sokka could be, he appreciated how much he genuinely cared. A few weeks prior, Zuko mentioned how much he disliked physical contact. So Sokka stopped hugging him and started squeezing him. It amazed him that Sokka just respected his boundaries so easily and effortlessly.

It was mind boggling that he could keep falling for him harder.

Zuko shifted his gaze from Sokka to the road ahead of them. The horizon was ever darkening as they drove towards one of the residential areas. Despite his crush on him, hanging out with Sokka, thankfully, wasn’t awkward. He was dating Suki now—even though she didn’t realize their first few dates were actually dates. Sokka was happy. Zuko was happy for him, even if he was insanely jealous of Suki despite only meeting her once. Even if he did want to kiss him and run his fingers through that dark brown hair. 

Sokka shoved him. Returning to reality, Zuko blinked and looked over at the teen next to him. “What?” 

“I asked if you want to play Smash Bros when we get back to my place.” 

“Oh, uh… yeah, sure,” he said dumbly, feeling himself blush. Sokka was in his  _ fucking _ pajamas and he was still attractive enough to make Zuko lose a few brian cells. It wasn’t fair. 

Pulling into his driveway, Sokka mumbled, “Welcome to casa de Sokka,” under his breath and undid his seatbelt. Following suit, Zuko got out of the car, feeling nervous about being in someone else’s house and having to meet their grandma possibly. Walking up to the door and fumbling with his keys, Sokka looked back at him and said, “Katara’s out on a date with Aang today and my gran had some errands to run so it should just be the two of us.” 

Zuko nearly went into cardiac arrest. 

Somehow that was  _ worse _ . Sokka had hung out with him at the apartment several times, but the walls were thin and there was always noise to fill the silence. Now instead of having to interact with Sokka’s family, he had to be not weird while being completely alone with him. Feelings were hard and he wished his didn’t exist for five minutes. He just wanted friends and to be a part of a normal friend group. It had been almost a month and he hadn’t been able to extinguish his feelings because Sokka was just so kind and cute  _ all the time. _

The front door led to a small kitchen where white linoleum tiled the floor and a pale green painted the walls. Everything was clean and orderly and the air smelled faintly of cinnamon and vanilla. Someone took pride in this kitchen. It reminded Zuko vaguely of his grandparent’s house before his Grandmother Ilah died and Grandfather Azulon was moved to a nursing home. 

Setting his keys on the table and taking off his ratty sneakers, Sokka smiled at him. Zuko gave him a quick smile back, still taking in his new surroundings. Part of him wanted to ask if Sokka had grown up here his entire life or if they moved here after his mother died. It was only eleven in the morning and too early for loaded questions like that. 

“You can leave your shoes on the mat by the door. Gran Gran is really particular about keeping the house spotless and doesn’t want shoes to come farther than that.” Zuko just nodded, doing as he was told and setting his shoes on the mat. He recognized several pairs of Vans and other tennis shoes to be Sokka’s, along with shoes that he assumed were Katara’s. It felt weirdly intimate coming into his friends’ home like this. He hadn’t been allowed to go over to a friend’s house past the age of eight and after moving across the state with Uncle, he hadn’t had friends to invite him. Zuko was all kinds of socially inept and the realization made him panic a little. 

Sokka walked past the table through an archway where the linoleum changed to hardwood. Zuko followed him, entering the living room where Sokka sat on the couch. There was a can of Pringles on the rug next to him, still open and showing that Zuko had obviously interrupted something when he texted.  [ Sitting near him, ](https://youtu.be/EwAajOtfNT8) Zuko looked around the room. The TV was pushed up against one wall and the couch the other. Behind them was an array of family photos: pictures of what were obviously Sokka and Katara throughout the years, one in black and white of a woman—who looked strikingly like Katara but slightly older—with man, and one of a woman he didn’t recognize. 

Something hit his arm. 

“Ready?” Sokka asked, looking over at him, the blue joy-con laying next to Zuko’s thigh. 

* * *

“I can’t believe you main Ike,” Sokka said, feigning incredulity. “I thought you were going to go for, like, Kirby or Pikachu. I really thought we vibed on the same wavelength because you also like  [ ‘King Candy.’” ](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2tXu5gSgYjX7UeA52ToOWK?si=1ZbiH9DXQmud0kEwRHwgWw)

“I don’t think our taste in music determines anything when it comes to who we main in Smash Bros, Sokka.” Sokka huffed and leaned into the corner of the couch. 

They stayed like that for an indeterminable amount of time: Sokka on one end of the couch, Zuko on the other. Eventually, Sokka’s legs found their way to rest over Zuko’s lap, comfortably platonic. Zuko was working really hard on trying to not interpret all of Sokka’s affection as subtly romantic. Sokka was just touchy. Plus he had a girlfriend. People were also allowed to be affectionate with their friends… and sometimes hold and squeeze their hands as a way to show it. Hand holding wasn’t  _ always  _ romantic. 

“Why’d she break up with you?” Sokka asked, not looking over at Zuko as he lost another round. 

[ Zuko sighed. ](https://youtu.be/E4CVGA205lc) “She said that she felt like I’d fallen out of love with her and was just too afraid of being alone to do anything about it. Specifically, she said she deserved someone more emotionally available than me.”

“Wow… harsh,” Sokka commented, glancing over at him quickly. “At least she didn’t say that to your face, right?” 

Zuko sat the joy-con on the arm rest. “She FaceTimed me, so it was sort of to my face.” Sokka winced. 

“At least it wasn’t over text,” he said, looking both guilty and sheepish. He fiddled with the buttons for a minute. “Sorry I sort of forced you to talk about it.” 

“It’s fine. Probably it’s for the best that I talk about it anyway. That’s probably what Dr. Minami would tell me if she were here.” Sokka just nodded, looking at his legs draped over Zuko’s lap. As Sokka bit his bottom lip, Zuko looked away from him. He wanted to ask something. Zuko wanted to tell him to just spit out whatever it was and stop making him want to kiss him in the process. 

“Like, we don’t have to keep talking about this if it’s upsetting you but can I ask why you guys got together in the first place? You know, since you’re… you know.” Sokka finally got out. 

Zuko shrugged. “She asked me out. We were close friends for a while and I guess she really liked me. We’ve known each other since middle school, but we only really started talking at the end of our freshman year.” He sighed, resting his head on the back of the couch and looking over at Sokka. “She was right. I wasn’t emotionally available for her and she did deserve better. It’s just that she was basically my best friend for over a year.” His voice cracked. Sokka’s legs fell and he sat up, a hand resting on Zuko’s shoulder, squeezing. 

“It’s okay to cry, I’m not going to judge you for it,” Sokka whispered. Hard conversations felt easier when quiet. 

“I’m fine. I—” He sighed, scrubbing his palm over his right eye. “I think I still love her platonically, you know? I think that’s why this feels so bad.” A tear slipped out of his left eye. Sokka grabbed his forearm. Zuko turned, holding his arms out, and Sokka hugged him. Again, it was comfortably platonic, Zuko reminded himself. They were friends and they were allowed to hug each other even if they both were into guys. Even if Zuko desperately wanted this to be more than platonic. He’d never say it though. Sokka was honestly one of his best friends and he didn’t want to risk ruining this for anything. 

Eventually, Sokka let go, slipping back to the opposite side of the couch. “Will getting your ass kicked in Super Smash Bros take your mind off of it?” 

“No,” he answered, feeling himself smirk slightly. “But kicking your ass will.” Sokka flipped him off with a grin. 

* * *

“Okay,” Sokka said, furiously pressing buttons. “This has been bothering me. How are you more muscular than me? Do you work out? Do you play sports? What’s the deal?” Zuko glanced over at him in confusion, before remembering. It had been nearly a month since Toph had off handedly made the comment and Sokka was apparently still hung up on it. 

“I dunno,” he mumbled, concentrating still on the game. “I don’t really workout. I took gym freshman year and sometimes I go to this place to practice kung fu.” The screen froze as Sokka paused the game. 

“You know kung fu?” he asked as if he couldn’t stop himself. 

Zuko shrugged. “Yeah, it’s specifically Northern Shaolin Kung Fu. My father made me and my sister start learning when we were little.” Sokka stared at him in amazement. 

“I have always wanted to learn how to do any kind of martial arts! That’s so cool! Could you teach me?” Regret washed through Zuko. There was no way on this green earth that he would do that.

“No.” 

“Why not?” 

“I don’t think I’d be a good teacher.” Sokka groaned, flopping back across his arm rest. 

“Next, you’re going to tell me that you do something else that’s cool and uncommon, like break dancing, and you won’t teach me that either!” 

“I don’t think break dancing is that uncommon.” Sokka sat up to look him in the eye. 

“I panicked and that was the first thing I thought of, okay?” Zuko rolled his eyes. “Besides, it’s unfair that you do that one thing  _ ‘sometimes’ _ and I’m a tri-sport athlete and you still have more muscle than me!” 

“You’re a tri-sport athlete?” Zuko asked, biting back the urge to mock him. 

“Yeah, you didn’t know that?” Sokka draped a leg over the armrest,  [ not sitting in a position proper ](https://www.fempositive.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/BiCultureCover-900x652.jpg) for a couch in the slightest. 

“Yeah no, like I knew you played hockey, but what are the other two?” 

“Soccer and baseball.” 

“Baseball?” Zuko couldn’t stop himself from scrunching up his nose. 

Sokka shrugged. “Turns out I’m good at  [ pitching ](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=catching%20%26%20pitching) and not much else.” Zuko nodded slightly, not sure what to do with this information. “Anyways, playing goalie in soccer’s really similar to playing goaltender in ice hockey.” Smiling, he shot his finger guns at Zuko. “And that’s what we call transferable job skills.” Zuko gave him a hum in response. With that, Sokka started their match back up, catching Zuko off guard. 

“No fair,” he mumbled, giving Sokka a slight shove. Sokka shoved back.

Ignoring the comment, Sokka said, “Hey, hockey season’s starting soon. You should come watch some of my games.” Zuko’s heart rate picked up. Not everything had romantic undertones even though Sokka did tell him that he was notorious for asking people out by inviting them to random activities. 

“Yeah?” Zuko muttered back, trying to focus on kicking Sokka’s ass in the game and failing miserably. “Maybe I will.” He could see Sokka smile out of the corner of his eye. Damn, he was cute. 

* * *

“You cheated!” Sokka exclaimed, losing for the fortieth time that day. 

“It’s not cheating if I’m just better than you at this,” Zuko retorted. He had moved to the floor maybe an hour ago so he could get a bit closer to the TV. His poor vision in his left eye made him compulsively get closer than needed to things. Especially when he was feeling competitive. 

“Whatever. You’re not better than me, you just cheat!” 

“How did I cheat?” 

“Well, you—uh…” Sokka readjusted, unfolding a leg out from under him and sitting like a normal person. 

“That’s what I thought,” Zuko mumbled. 

“What was that? Are you challenging me?” Sokka said, standing up. 

“No?” Zuko said with a confused hand.

“I think you are and unfortunately, I know your weakness.” There was a shit eating grin spreading across his face. Maybe Zuko shouldn’t have asked Sokka to hang out today. Staying home and being miserable alone would have been better than this. 

“ [ Give it ](https://youtu.be/tCo1PNm6cq8?t=4) — _ fuck!” _ Zuko’s head cracked against the hardwood and Sokka was on top of him, tickling his sides. “What the fuck is wrong with you that fucking  _ hurt, _ Sokka!” he said, bringing his hand up to try to push him off. Thankfully, the outburst seemed to get to him quicker than his hand did. 

“Oh shit,” he said, face falling and hands coming to rest on either side of Zuko’s head. “I’m sorry, I thought it’d be funny.” There was a pounding pain coming from the back of his skull. “I just—I—” The squeal of the front door opening cut him off. They were laying with a perfect view of the front door through the archway. There was a man with shaggy, jaw-length hair and piercing blue eyes standing in the doorway. He looked familiar. 

Zuko’s heart rate picked up as he realized that he recognized him from the photos on the walls.  _ Fuck. _ Pushing off of him, Sokka leaped to his feet with an excited “Dad!” and ran to embrace his father.  _ I shouldn’t be here. I should just offer to go.  _ The pain in his head subsiding a little, he sat up, not ready to leave his spot on the floor just yet. The older man hugged his son back, looking down at Zuko with a confused stare.

“Sokka, it’s good to see you,” he said, barely missing a beat. “You’ve grown.” He ruffled Sokka’s hair the best he could through the wolf tail, holding him out at arm’s length. For a moment, all he did was smile at his son before looking back up at Zuko. “And I haven’t met you before.” He motioned for Zuko to join them in the front doorway. 

Panic.

He locked eyes with Sokka who simply smiled at him. So, he stood up and walked over, feeling the tension he carried in his shoulders and jaw. Awkwardly, he said, “Hi, I’m Zuko,” raising one hand as a half-hearted wave. It was beginning to occur to him that Sokka’s father was looking at him funny because he just walked in to his son  _ on top of him. _

“He’s one of my friends from school, we’re just hanging out today.” Sokka’s voice dripped with excitement, like a little kid. If he wasn’t so anxious, Zuko might have appreciated how much of an adorable dumbass Sokka was. Maybe he did anyway because when he looked back his father had an eyebrow raised. 

“Oh, you’re…  _ friends _ .” Sokka didn’t catch his dad’s tone. Accidentally, Zuko made eye contact with the older man, dropping it as soon as it happened.  _ His dad thinks we’re dating. _

“Yeah! He’s the one that helped me get with my girlfriend, Suki! I think you’d really like her. She can probably come over tomorrow night for dinner if you want to meet her.” Sokka’s father gave Zuko a pointed glance. 

“I’m Hakoda, by the way. Sokka and Katara’s dad.” He held out a hand to Zuko. Taking it, Zuko had the firmest handshake of his life, looking panickedly over at Sokka. 

“Nice to meet you, sir,” he mumbled, shifting his gaze to Hakoda’s nose so as to not make eye contact. He could see Sokka look at him funny, only now seeming to understand that Zuko was  [ Not Okay™. ](https://youtu.be/UgmY2sB71Hc) Took him about damn time. 

Hakoda released his hand, readjusting his stance slightly. Zuko took a step back. Glancing at the floor, his brain scrambled for an excuse to leave. Thankfully, Sokka came up with one for him. 

“So did they send you home early for the holidays? Why is your hair so long?” Sokka asked, the initial excitement wearing off. 

Hakoda smiled. “My contract expired eight months ago, Sokka. Bato and I finally have enough saved up for a downpayment for a building out near  [ Wyoming. ](https://goo.gl/maps/uwasChw9oeAN7g9Q9) We’re opening the shop finally.” Sokka’s face dropped in shock. Zuko knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he should not be a part of this moment. Sokka hugged his father again and said some string of congratulations. Zuko just stood there, trying to figure out the best way to get out of this situation. There was a large hand squeezing his shoulder. He’d zoned out of the conversation for too long. 

“... you boys come with us for a celebratory dinner?” There was a wide grin plastered across Sokka’s face. This was his chance. 

“I-I really should just get home. I don’t have any money to pay you back and I—” Hakoda released his shoulder and held his hand up to stop him. 

“I insist. Any friend of Sokka’s is welcome in this family.” 

“No, I should go home,” Zuko tried to insist. 

It didn’t work. 

* * *

“Don’t let your sister know I’m here when you text her,” Hakoda said to Sokka as they got out of the car. Zuko hadn’t been to this part of the city often nor been to this restaurant before. Meaning, he’d have to figure out what he wanted to eat while also making sure that it wasn’t too expensive since Sokka’s father was paying. Fuck. Shoving his tongue between his teeth to release his clenched jaw, he could feel panic swelling in his chest. For the record, he’d been anxious since they left the house, but now that they were here, things were worse. 

“And ruin the surprise?” Sokka asked with a grin. “I’d never.” Through the few interactions Zuko had witnessed between the two, he was amazed at how similar Hakoda and Sokka were. It had sounded a bit like Hakoda was gone for most of Sokka’s childhood. Not that his own father was getting the dad-of-the-year-award, but still. He guessed it just went to show that nature was sometimes stronger than nurture.

The two continued to chat as they walked into the restaurant. Zuko followed behind them, feeling as if he was third wheeling. They were placed at a large booth, Sokka making sure Zuko sat down first so he was the farthest in. Staring at the menu and not really reading anything that was on it, Zuko tried to listen to Sokka yammer on to his dad. His heart was pounding, his ears ringing. He certainly didn’t feel normal. He really wasn’t sure how to be normal in this situation.  _ Was _ there even a normal for a situation like this?

“Sokka,” a deep voice called. There was a tall man with long black hair standing at the end of their table. A grin cracked across Sokka’s face as he leapt up to hug him. 

“Bato!” The man pulled Sokka into a headlock, ruffling his hair. 

“You’ve gotten tall,” Bato commented after releasing him. He paused for a moment, making eye contact with Hakoda and then smiling. “I’m sure your father has already told you.” 

“Yeah! We talked all about the autobody shop on the drive over. I’m so excited for you guys!” There would have probably been more rambling but the man cut him off by placing a hand on his shoulder. 

“I have something to show you out in the car.” With that, he turned and left. Sokka looked back and beamed at Zuko for a brief moment before following. And Zuko was alone. With Sokka’s father. If Sokka hadn’t been so fucking adorable, Zuko might have been angry with him. Well, he was angry with him, but not as much as he could have been. 

“So…” Hakoda began, watching the two exit the restaurant. Zuko felt his airways restrict and his heart nearly stopped. Hakoda turned to face him. Hands shaking under the table, he looked up at him and made eye contact with his nose. “I just want to make it clear that I support your relationship with my son, even if he doesn’t feel comfortable telling me about it yet.”  [ Zuko blinked. ](https://media1.tenor.com/images/46d73c3cc50fa32e0e1d8c2a38007477/tenor.gif?itemid=7513882)

“What?” he said, like a dumbass. It wasn’t something he honestly anticipated to come out of Hakoda’s mouth  _ ever. _ His face must have shown as much confusion as he was feeling because the man’s eyebrows furrowed slightly. 

“I’m under the impression that you’re dating my son and I want to make sure you always feel welcomed in my household.”  _ Fuck. Oh fuck. Oh no. Oh shit. Fuck. _

“I’m not—we’re not—” He took a moment to remember to breathe. “Sokka’s not—he’s dating a _girl._ _We’re_ not dating.” To that, Hakoda raised his eyebrows. 

“Oh… Well…” There was a quiet moment between the two of them.  [ Zuko wanted to kill himself. ](https://youtu.be/XWT5emal2Qs?t=26) “I sincerely apologize for assuming. Just based on the way I found you with my son today, it seemed like the two of you were a couple.” Scratch that, Zuko was going to kill Sokka. He had sort of assumed that his father had come to that conclusion, but he didn’t expect him  _ to say anything about it. _ He wished Uncle was here to help clear the air in a more articulate manner than he could.

Opening his mouth to say the first thing to come to mind, Zuko glanced up and made eye contact with Hakoda. His brain froze. His heart leapt into his throat. He couldn’t breathe. Why couldn’t he have just gone home? 

“Hakoda,” a woman said.  _ Thank fuck.  _

“Mom,” Hakoda said warmly, standing to greet her with a hug. 

“Dad?” Katara shouted from the other side of the restaurant. She ran over, joining her father and grandmother in a hug. This was all a little too much for Zuko to process. He wasn’t supposed to be here and now he was meeting Sokka’s entire fucking family.

“I told you I had a surprise for you,” Sokka said, coming up behind her with Bato. He took his seat next to Zuko looking over at him with a smile. Zuko tried to give him a partial smile back, causing Sokka’s face to fall. “You okay, man?” he whispered. Thankfully, Zuko didn’t have to open his stupid mouth again.

“Hakoda, you won’t believe what I just learned about your son,” Bato said, sitting next to him and throwing an arm over his shoulders. Zuko was almost a little relieved to have attention taken off of him; however, Sokka looked like he was about to self implode.

“What’s that?” Hakoda asked with a grin. Suddenly, Bato was lifting up Sokka’s left sweatshirt sleeve. Sokka gulped, eyes wide as he looked between the  [ blue lines ](https://indigenouscontemporaryart.tumblr.com/post/155592620493/bodymodorigins-traditional-inuit-tattoo) on his arm and his father. 

Hakoda laughed. Sokka let out a breath and smiled sheepishly. Katara looked startled. “When did you get a tattoo?” she exclaimed, looking over at her grandmother who was just smiling at her grandson. It occurred to Zuko that this was probably the same woman who would have been angry at Sokka for dirtying his clothes a month back. She didn’t seem as strict now, almost happy about his tattoo. 

Hakoda patted Sokka’s shoulder, having just finished some statement and bringing Zuko back to reality. Katara caught Zuko’s eye, an eyebrow quirked as if she just realized his presence and was as confused as he was about it. He gave her a shrug and a jittery, toothy smile. Oblivious and laughing nervously, Sokka glanced over at Zuko and briefly grabbed his hand and squeezed it under the table. It was longer than normal and in that moment he realized that the squeeze wasn’t only to comfort him. 

It was for Sokka too. 

* * *

The first clap of thunder came as the waitress sat the bill on their table. The sun sank below the horizon hours ago and Zuko really needed to get home. But as they always did, Sokka’s family was overly hospitable. They didn’t want him taking the bus home alone at night. Hakoda was a little too drunk to drive. He wasn’t about to ask the man with long hair—who’s name started with a  [ “B” ](https://youtu.be/s5BSAIUSUc4?t=5) but he couldn’t remember it—to drive him home. The restaurant was only two miles from their house, meaning Sokka was allowed to drive them home in the storm, but not the twenty miles round-trip to Zuko’s apartment. All of that boiled down to Zuko needing to call Uncle. 

“It’s late, nephew.” 

“I know, I’m sorry,” Zuko said, rubbing his hand over his face. “It’s just, I—” He sighed, pacing slightly around Sokka’s bedroom. “I’m spending the night at Sokka’s tonight. I couldn’t get a ride back and they offered—” 

“It’s okay, Zuko,” Uncle interrupted. “Thank you for letting me know.” There was a pause as Zuko let out a breath, looking out Sokka’s window at the road. “Don’t do anything stupid and use protection,” Uncle laughed. 

“Uncle!” 

There was another laugh. “I’m joking, nephew. I love you. Sleep well tonight.” 

“I love you too; goodnight, Uncle,” he grumbled, moving his phone off his reddening face and hanging up. Sokka’s room was about as much of a mess as his car. Zuko wasn’t sure he expected any better, but he personally felt like dirty clothes were a lot grosser than candy wrappers. Actually, he wasn’t sure if these clothes were dirty or not. He assumed so because they were lying wrinkled all over the floor, but it was Sokka. 

“Is he coming to pick you up?” Sokka asked as he opened the door. 

Zuko sighed. “No, it’s just… long story short is he hasn’t owned a car in almost five years.” 

“Oh… can I ask why?” he asked, leaning up against the door frame. Part of him wanted to be cold and tell him “no,” but Dr. Minami had told him to work on being vulnerable with others. 

Folding his arms, he said, “It was originally to pay for my adoption fees. Later, it was because he got so used to public transit that he didn’t really want one.” 

Sokka quirked an eyebrow and seemed to ponder what to say next. After a moment, he said, “I guess I never realized that your uncle adopted you. Like I got the whole you live with him after your dad… ya know. I just… yeah, sorry I’m making this weird.” 

Zuko shrugged and shook his head slightly. “It’s fine.” 

Standing up and rubbing the back of his neck, Sokka asked, “So you’re staying the night?” 

“Yeah, I guess so.” Sokka grinned at him from the doorway. 

* * *

Zuko was thirteen. Flames ate his face. His scar burned. He was sweating despite the cold. His eyes shot open, vision bleary. Moonlight shone through the window; the ceiling above him decorated with strange shadows. His heart pounded. For a second, he couldn’t remember where he was.

“Are you okay?” Zuko jumped, sitting up and looking over the bed. Sokka was half hung out the window, sitting on the roof. He felt too much like utter shit to question it. 

He nodded. “It was—it was just a nightmare.” His voice was shaking and strained. He knew he was choking back tears but he didn’t realize how audible they’d be when he spoke. Hopefully, Sokka would think it was because he was tired.

Thankfully, Sokka didn’t say shit about it. He just nodded, pulled himself back out onto the roof, and patted the spot next him. Wrapping a blanket around his shoulders, Zuko obliged. He put his head through first, balancing himself on his hands. As he pulled his leg through, his left hand slipped, arms scraping against the shingles. Would he have been fine? Yeah. Did Sokka grab him and basically haul him onto him anyway? Yes. 

“Dude, be careful,” Sokka laughed, his face just inches from Zuko’s. If Sokka weren’t dating a girl and if Zuko wasn’t mad at him for leaving him with his father, he might have damn near kissed him. So instead, he feigned anger.

Scowling, Zuko pushed himself off. “I would’ve been fine.” He’d never climbed through a window onto a roof before and felt like he was in  [ some early 2000s coming-of-age movie. ](https://youtu.be/vtZpP1QIHSU)

“You almost fell off the goddamn roof.”

“Yeah, well it’s not like I’ve had a lot of practice at it.” Sokka just snorted. He was wrapped in a blanket, knees against his chest. For some reason, he slept in the same shirt he’d worn all day and just changed into sweatpants. It felt gross to Zuko to not change into pajamas before bed; not that he’d had that option tonight, but the principle still stood. 

After debating with himself for a moment, Zuko asked, “Can I ask you something?” 

“Shoot,” Sokka said, turning his gaze from the moon to Zuko. 

“What’s up with your grandma? She seemed so happy about your tattoo today and it just seemed strange.” Sokka’s mouth pulled to one side. “Just from what I’d heard, she’d sounded pretty strict is all.” He nodded. 

“Yeah, well, she can be pretty strict on a lot of stuff. Katara and I and the house always have to be clean and presentable and it’s a big deal if we’re not. It’s just—” He sighed for a moment, pulling his blanket over his feet. “Gran Gran left her tribe when she was a teenager and immigrated here. She’s never told us why, but it’s obvious that she didn’t want to leave. I think she was just happy that I was embracing part of our family’s culture for once.” Zuko just blinked at him for a moment, prompting Sokka to elaborate. “We’re Inuit. Gran Gran always wanted to make sure we were proud of it. Katara always was. She learned how to make traditional meals and do cross stitches and a whole lot of stuff. All I did was play ice hockey and sort of date another Inuk.” Sokka sighed.

Zuko wasn’t sure what to say to that. So instead of trying to come up with something, he wordlessly patted Sokka on the shoulder. Something like a chuckle came from him and he ran a hand through his loose hair. 

“I feel like I shouldn’t but I still miss her, ya know?” Sokka said after a moment, his bare toes curling as the wind blew over them. Zuko stared at him for a moment. 

“What?” he asked dumbly. 

“Yue,” he answered, looking over. His face was sombre and somehow that was more heart wrenching than watching him cry. “I still miss her but I feel like I shouldn’t because I’m with Suki now.” Zuko watched him, trying to read his face. 

“There’s not a time limit on grief,” he eventually said. Sokka let out a humorless chuckle and looked up at the moon, the back of his head resting against the side of the house. 

“Yeah, I know,” he mumbled. He closed his eyes. “I just feel like I’m doing it wrong because it’s just not the same as when my mom died.” He opened his eyes and took in a breath. “Like, maybe because I was so young I never fully processed that grief. But it just makes me feel like I’m not feeling my feelings the right way. Like I shouldn’t miss her as much as I do.” He sat up, moving away from the wall and avoiding looking at Zuko. “I never tried to talk to my mom after she died, but I’ve been out here almost every night to talk to the moon… to talk to her. I feel like I’m going insane more than grieving.” Finally, he made eye contact with him. “Like it’s all wrong, you know?” 

Emotional intimacy wasn’t something Zuko was used to. He had opened up this way to Uncle, but Uncle never fully reciprocated. Uncle would never tell him exactly how much he missed his wife and son or how watching Zuko suffer hurt him. He’d share plenty of other things but not that. Then there was Sokka, who he’d only known for a month yet was so openly talking about his feelings. It made Zuko want to jump off the roof and run home. He didn’t know what to do. So with a shaking hand, he dropped eye contact and reached out and squeezed Sokka’s hand. Sokka gave him a sad half smile and squeezed back. 

Taking his hand back, Sokka hugged his legs, putting his chin on his knees. “Sorry if that was weird. I guess I said that so that you’d feel comfortable talking about your dream.” He cocked his head so he could look over at Zuko. “I’ve never seen someone thrash like that in their sleep.” Zuko sighed and leaned back against the window pane, rubbing a hand over his good eye. 

“I have nightmares still about my father trying to kill me.” Sokka sat up straight, obviously not expecting that. It felt  _ wrong _ to be so honest and open and vulnerable, but he _ did _ want to tell Sokka. He  _ wanted _ to be close to him.

“Oh shit sorry I said anything I know that must be—” 

“It’s fine,” he interrupted, looking up at the full moon. Despite being a ten minute drive from downtown, there still was enough light pollution that the sky was almost starless. Part of him missed being able to see the constellations. He didn’t miss Father or Azula, but he missed the stars at his childhood home.

Sighing, he decided to start somewhere other than his own trauma. “My uncle lost his son, you know?” He could see Sokka look over at him out of the corner of his eye. “He was in a head-on collision with a drunk driver. Had the driver not fled after hitting him or if someone else had seen it and called an ambulance he might have lived. The coroner said he was alive for almost half an hour after the collision.” He paused for a moment, not sure if he should look over at Sokka or not. He decided on the latter and pushed on. “That was almost eight years ago and I still hear my uncle talk to him every once in a while. Missing someone doesn’t mean you haven’t grieved them properly.” He could feel Sokka’s blue eyes boring into him and so he looked over to meet them. Zuko was almost shocked to find a single tear rolling down the other teen’s cheek. 

Something about his face must have told Sokka he was going to apologize, because he laughed and wiped his face. “Thanks for trying to console me on my trauma even though I brought up yours like a rude jackass.” 

“Sokka, it’s fine. It wasn’t rude.” 

“Yeah, it sort of was.” It really  _ wasn’t, _ but Zuko didn’t want to argue with him. Sighing, Zuko made the conscious decision to share more with Sokka than he had with Dr. Minami. 

“Your dad tonight, when you left with that one guy, told me that he was supportive of us dating; that it’s okay that we’re gay.” Sokka’s eyes widened in a mixture of surprise and fear.

“Dude, I’m so sorry. My dad can be so weird sometimes and I don’t know where he got that impression.” 

Zuko just stared at him for a moment. “You haven’t even come out to your father and he’s already a million times more supportive than mine. So what if he’s ‘weird sometimes.’ I came out to mine and his response was to tell me I was no longer his son and then he poured gasoline over me and lit it.” The look in Sokka’s eyes returned, now probably because he wasn’t sure how to respond to that information. “My uncle adopted me so that I never would have to go back to that house. And you know what? My father willingly gave up custody of me. He willingly gave me up, Sokka.”

Sokka’s mouth hung open for a moment before he humorlessly laughed, “ [ What the fuck, ](https://64.media.tumblr.com/1ac9c913ee44eca5c7e30ccdec162342/tumblr_p2srmomVVS1tl8dkmo2_500.jpg) dude.” 

Zuko let out a breath. “Tell me about it.” 

“I mean, that’s all kinds of messed up, but just fuck him.” Sokka seemed to fidget under his blanket. “Can I hug you? I just have no clue on what to say to that to comfort you.” Zuko’s heart nearly stopped. 

“No, it’s okay. I mean, yes, you can hug me, I just—it’s just that—ugh. You don’t need to feel like you have to comfort me in any way. I’m okay; it’s okay.” Sokka just stared at him. 

_ “Are _ you okay?” he asked, squeezing his right shoulder. “I understand that you don’t like being touched, but if it makes you anxious, just tell me. I can stop.” If only it was that and not that Zuko was crushing hard on one of his best friends. 

Taking a deep breath, Zuko tried again. “Yes, I’m okay and you can hug me if you want. I don’t really have anxiety over being touched, I just—” He sighed, trying to figure out exactly what he wanted to say. “I bet you’ve sort of noticed that I have PTSD, but I also have generalized anxiety and so sometimes I just… panic over little things.” Sokka nodded. Before Zuko could stop it, his mouth kept going. “I actually sort of like it when you hug me. I’m just not trying to make things weird because I’ve never had another friend who’s gay before and I don’t want you to think I like you because I don’t— _ romantically! _ I don’t like you  _ romantically.  _ Obviously, I like you as a friend and I should just shut up, shouldn’t I?” Sokka just laughed and looked down at his feet. 

“You’re fine,” he said as he put his head on Zuko’s shoulder. As unexpected as it was, Zuko didn’t mind. Chuckling, Sokka mumbled, “I like you as a friend too.” He could have nearly cried from the relief. 

They sat like that for a moment, Zuko trying to work up the courage to put his arm around Sokka’s shoulders. Without much warning, Sokka sat up and looked directly at him. “I think you’re my best friend.” 

“Huh?” he said like the dumbass he was. 

“I think you’re my best friend. Like you’re the only one I’ve come out to and told about Yue. If I told that to any of my friends from baseball or soccer or even hockey, they’d make fun of me for it or ostracize me for it. Like, I don’t think I could ever come out to any of them. And I really appreciate that you’re so accepting of me.” Zuko just stared at him for a moment, studying his eyes. 

Feeling like a child, he said, “Yeah, you’re my best friend too.” 

**Author's Note:**

> if you enjoyed this, please leave a comment and let me know! I think I'm going to add two more parts to this series so be ready for that :)  
> thanks for reading!!


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